And let’s be honest: caregiving can be incredibly rewarding, but it can also be really, really hard. That’s why finding books and movies that reflect your experience or provide some guidance or maybe even just make you laugh can be such a boon. Check out this list of books and films that might help you remember that you’re not the only person who’s experienced the highs and the lows of caring for someone you love.
Non-fiction books about caregiving
The Reluctant Caregiver: How to Survive the Rollercoaster Called End-Of-Life-Care of a Family Member
By Kristin Marvin. This book is a memoir from a woman who found herself unexpectedly caring for her mother near the end of her life while simultaneously caring for her father. Even though Marvin was a trained psychologist, it was still hard to care for her parents and then ultimately lose them to death. This book may help you feel less alone if you’re in a similar situation.
A Bittersweet Season: Caring for Our Aging Parents—and Ourselves
By Jane Gross The late columnist authored this book more than a decade ago to chronicle her experiences of caring for her elderly mother–and to share the wisdom that she gained about caregiver issues like understanding assisted living facilities and the importance of caregivers taking care of their own mental health.
My Two Elaines: Learning, Coping, and Surviving as an Alzheimer’s Caregiver
By Martin J. Schreiber. It can be devastating to watch Alzheimer’s disease transform a loved one from a vibrant person into someone you barely recognize. That’s what former Wisconsin governor Martin Schreiber experienced as his wife Elaine developed Alzheimer’s disease. This book chronicles their journey and provides guidance to caregivers about self-care.
Can’t We Talk about Something More Pleasant?: A Memoir
By Roz Chast. This memoir by noted New Yorker cartoonist Roz Chast may be unlike any other memoir you’ve read. Yes, it employs cartoons to do some of the storytelling, along with many hand-written passages. But what makes it really stand out is how Chast captures what it was like to watch the decline and death of her parents while still trying to negotiate her own life.
Novels About Caregiving
Every Note Played
By Lisa Genova. Some caregiving relationships are more complicated than others, as in this novel by author and neuroscientist Lisa Genova. Every Note Played tells the story of a world-famous pianist who develops ALS—and his ex-wife who helps to care for him. The pair have a rocky relationship, as the ex-wife had essentially sacrificed her own career as a musician to support her then-husband, and they struggle to navigate the situation.
Still Alice
By Lisa Genova. Another novel by Genova that dives into the effects of a progressive neurological illness that robs people—in this case, the titular Alice—of themselves. Alice Howard is a Harvard professor who has Alzheimer’s disease, and as she declines, she has to grapple with a new way of living, and so does her family as they care for her.
The Wide Circumference of Love
By Marita Golden. Can you ever really expect a diagnosis like Alzheimer’s? In this novel, Judge Diane Tate certainly didn’t expect to encounter that situation, but when her husband develops Alzheimer’s, she has to scramble to figure out what to do. Moving her husband into an assisted living facility is just one bump along the road that is her marriage. She also has to help guide their children in learning to handle their father’s diagnosis—and the way it affects all of their lives. Buy it: https://www.amazon.com/Wide-Circumference-Love-Novel/dp/1628729902/
The Secret to Hummingbird Cake
By Celeste Fletcher McHale. This novel tells the story of three best friends living in a small town in Louisiana and how they cope when one receives a stage 4 ovarian cancer diagnosis. Two of the women rage against the shock of their friend’s illness, but as they care for her in her remaining months of life, the two surviving friends learn more about what matters most in life.
Films
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
This 2007 French film is based on a book with the same title and tells the story of a man in his early 40s who experiences a stroke and then develops a devastating case of paralysis called locked-in syndrome. He can only communicate with his caregivers, family and therapists by blinking his left eye. The film is based on the true story of Elle magazine editor Jean-Dominique Bauby.
I Never Sang for My Father
This 1970 movie starring Gene Hackman shows what it’s like to grapple with caring for an aging parent when their spouse dies, especially if you have a difficult relationship with that parent like Hackman’s character does with his father, played by Melvyn Douglas. And it touches on how to handle unresolved issues that may wind up staying unresolved.
The Savages
Starring Laura Linney and Philip Seymour Hoffman, this 2007 black comedy explores the challenges of caring for an elderly father with dementia. Linney and Hoffman play middle-aged siblings who find themselves caring for their estranged father as he slips further into dementia, and they realize they need to reevaluate their own lives.
Terms of Endearment
One of the most famous (and enduring) movies about caring for someone with a terminal illness, Terms of Endearment tells the story of a mother, Aurora, who steps up to take care of her daughter, Emma, when she is diagnosed with terminal cancer. This Academy-Award winning film has a lot of emotional ups and downs, so be prepared with some tissues. Next up: The Caregiver’s Guide to Depression
